I have the bad habit of starting something in the spur of the moment and after the impulse is gone, it falls to the wayside.
When I started Ocean Color Scene, I said to myself, "This will be a blog that I will continue writing in." It won't be a dinosaur or an unwanted toy, collecting cyber-cobwebs.
March had been a rough month. Heck, it had been tough since I unplugged myself from what I know and love to be in America. This year-long experience at this desk job had been an eye-opener but it had sapped my zest for marine conservation and general outlook in life.
Sure, there were good things that happened: getting married, making leaps and bounds in my personal life. A girl can't have it all. Here I am sulking because I couldn't fit personal and professional fulfilment into one neat equation for a wholesome life.
The growing frustration at this job made me examine my priorities, desires and needs again. Seems like I'm always having a "head check" when sufficient amounts of dissatisfaction build up to a critical level. And being action-oriented, I seek answers, rationalizing irrational behavior of colleagues, trying to fix things.
I wish I had the perseverance to go on when things slam in my face. I bitch, rant, cuss and eat more junkfood. But hey, everybody has his or her vices.
Fortunately, my spouse had been a pillar of support throughout this "adventure". My family continued to guide and calm me when my mind is disarray and my hopes are faint. Counting my blessings, I am lucky to have people who love and care for me in this otherwise impersonal and calculating world.