Have you ever had a cockroach wake you at 2 a.m.?

It had been an easy-going day at work. Although there was an event to organize, it was not crazy or frenetic like other times because: (a) advance preparation (b) sufficient support from all around (c) the cat wasn't around.

I retired early at night after reading a page or two of Sophie's World, a novel on the history of philosophy. Just as Sophie and her philosophy teacher Alberto started dwelling on unification of Christianity and philosophy, I decided to get my zzzz.

My slumbering body sensed an intruder in my left ear. My pinky finger automatically moves in to get at it. The next thing my sleepy brain knew was that a cockroach had crawled right in.

I reluctantly got out of bed and went to the bathroom. I took a quick look at the watch on the counter. "Darn bugger woke me up at 2 a.m.!" Of course this was not verbalized. There is always an odd sensation in the mouth after waking when you don't feel like talking or eating or anything but sleep.

I took at a cotton bud and jabbed at the critter. I wasn't sure how big this cockroach was. I noticed 2 types of cockroaches roaming my apartment happily. Last night I saw one about the size of a small ant, say 5 mm, exploring my computer. From the frightening noise and frantic scratching I can safely say it was the bigger variety, about 2-3 cm in length.

I considered using the tweezer but worried I might drive the critter deeper and possibly damaging my eardrum. As my mind raced through the options (not many rational ones I could muster at that hour) the cockroach decided to exit on its own.

My immediate emotions: relieve, disgust and irrational fear. I started thinking about prevention. Ear plugs. Cotton pads. Headscarves. Cellophane tape. Headmasks, like the ones robbers and terroritsts wear. Then I worried about how my hair would look like in the morning (I can't go to work wearing a paperbag over my head). In the end I settled for earphones.

So wearing earphones in bed I decided to find out on the internet how other people dealt with insects or foreign objects in their ear. There was a decent article that suggested using oil to kill the insect or running water to flush out a bean that's not too tightly wedged in. Ah, nice. An oily ear or wet head at 2 in the morning.

The article also warned about not using inflexible objects like tweezers for fear of hurting the victim...presumably the article was written for mothers or guardians dealing with a panic-stricken child who is struggling and crying to have the bug out of his or her ear. Well, I want my mommy too!

When my irrational fear had lessened somewhat I started musing about the hilarity of the situation. I have slept in worse places and had not endured a cockroach lodging itself in my ear. I had the bigger ones crawling all over me and my brothers when we spent the first night at a field house in Langkawi for my first job in marine conservation. There is always the first time for everything I guess.

I sure am glad the pest control folks are coming over to attempt eradication of those critters. But if I understood correctly, they are only targeting the kitchen area. Moments after the intruder launched itself out of my ear, another one came out of the bathroom sink. It's going to take more than just a visit from the pest control to get rid of these bugs.

As far as I'm concerned, the cockroaches have started a war...